“Have You Ever Considered Suicide?”

prompt: “Suicide.”

This prompt has been in my queue for quite some time. The poem didn’t come to me until a few weeks ago, when I was asked by an extremely apathetic and disengaging medical “professional” whether or not I had ever considered suicide. I think she just wanted a black-or-white answer, which was something I am never willing to give (I hate absolutes).

Because this prompt was given anonymously, I just want to throw out there that if anyone reading this feels like talking, you can always write me a letter or send me an email.

PO Box 3172
Chatsworth, CA 91313

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billimarie (dot) r (gmail)

9 thoughts on ““Have You Ever Considered Suicide?”

  1. That’s a wonderful poem and a great response to a pretty stupid question. Has there ever been an imaginative and sensitive person who never considered the possibility of ending his or her existence? That’s not pathological, it’s human. As it is human to choose to affirm life and go on.

  2. Following is a true story. Years ago, I was recovering in a German hospital from a partial hysterectomy. The day before I was to leave the hospital, I experienced breathing problems…intense breathing problems. The operating doctor came in, took my blood pressure(It was 150 over something)and said, “Diese Frau muss zu Intensiv Station, das muss abgeklart werden!”(This woman must go to the intensive station. This must be clarified.) And then the doc and the nurse left me in the room -ALONE- Mind you, I could hardly breathe…I stumbled from my bed to the window(which was tilted open), collapsed in a chair with my head propped against the window gasping for breath. I looked over the Rhine River(the Women’s Clinic was in Rheinfelden, Germany), looked at the birds and the clouds, and accepted that my life ws slowly easing from my body. I didn’t want to die. But I had to accept that death was very near. Suddenly, I felt at peace, thought of my daughter and my husband and my Buddhist friend, then closed my eyes.I had to let go. What happened next is so surreal I will save for a future blog entry. Life is so precious, I can’t quite comprehend(with the exception of extreme hormonal and chemical imbalances) why anyone would want to exit willingly.
    Until this day, I still find it quite weird that the professionals left me alone when I was struggling to breathe. I can’t help but wonder how they would have explained to my family if I had passed on to the next realm? Suicide or complications from surgery.

    1. This is a fascinating story, thank you for sharing. Let me know if you ever write an entry about your surreal experiences; I am always interested in those types of stories.

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